Back from beyond with a songsheet in my heart and awful book jackets on my mind

So, here it is: my first post of 2013 and it’s already February. Since my Strawberry Santas melted I have: Written a book (or a long short story as a particularly pedantic friend insisted I call it). Sold some of my literary gifts to the big, wide world and even got a mention in this … Continue reading →

A Cape Colony Christmas in 1863 and Strawberry Santas Gone Bad

I have been away again. I was here, in the bush; out of mobile phone range, without electricity, surrounded by the Big 5, with two wild animals of my own, one of whom rolled off the dining room table and smashed out their front teeth. Well, they’re dangling by a thread and the 5 dentists (yes, … Continue reading →

Of Old Newspapers, “The Native Franchise” and that Frayed Tail-End of the Year

It’s a Tuesday night although it feels like it should be Friday already and I am tired beyond reckoning; goodness this year is too long yet not long enough. But, it is Tuesday night and it is December, and I am sitting on the lounge floor beside these papers below. You won’t be able to see the details on my … Continue reading →

17th and 18th Century Operations or My Deep Respect for Anaesthesia

I’ve been gone for a while. The first reason for this is “mommybloggers”. The good women of mumsnet made me cry, quite hysterically, for a whole day and they scared me off the internet for a bit longer than that. After an exhaustive session of alliterative insult-creation with friends – vicious viragos, back-biting behemoths, matza-minded mushbags – I … Continue reading →

Syphilis and my Grandpa Bob

This past week, had he still been alive, my wonderful grandfather would have turned 93. He was a very good-looking chap – a lot like Jack Nicholson, I think – and had he lived in another country in another time, I quite fancy the idea of him as a film star. His good looks, however, were … Continue reading →

We Went Marching To Pretoria (or How I fell in love with Afrikaans in my 36th year)

For those of you who are new here, I am married to 23Thorns. He is also a blogger. We are the modern equivalent of Leonard and Virginia Woolf (but with shoplifting), Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald (but with dassie corpses on the stove), Iris Murdoch and John Bayley (but with a criminally clever Chinese Crested Powder … Continue reading →

Granny was a go-go dancer (almost)

I’m back! I have been a very bad blogger for the past three weeks. There are two reasons for this: 1) I have been living a pre-Industrial Revolution life. I bought myself a bustle dress and a proper, torturously beautiful corset and I spend my days assembling my wares. My arms are so tired by the end of … Continue reading →

Queen Elizabeth I and Halitosis

The Past was a very smelly place. I’m quite sure that we would all just about fall over should we have to return to a time of tanneries along rivers, open sewers, horse-powered transport, rushes as carpet into which you would throw your leftovers, and people not overly fond of taking a bath. Having said this, … Continue reading →

1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue: A Dictionary of Buckish Slang, University Wit and Pickpocket Eloquence

Oh, I just love everything about this book! I’m going to re-write the title here because it makes me smile to read it. Smiles are obligatory on Friday. 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue A Dictionary of Buckish Slang, University Wit and Pickpocket Eloquence The dictionary was originally compiled by a Captain Grose (surely they were … Continue reading →

The Shipwreck of The Grosvenor 4 August 1782

The East India Company’s Grosvenor was a three-masted, square-rigged, frigate-built vessel. She was built by Wells of Deptford and set off on her maiden voyage to India in 1770. Twelve years later, on her fourth and last voyage from Madras to England, she plowed straight into the African continent in the early hours of a stormy, misty morning. She … Continue reading →

Life’s Not All About the Numbers or Linnaeus’ Floral Clock.

I have been remiss. I ignored my weekly blog deadline. Well…I didn’t ignore it, but time seems to have run away with me. This is particularly interesting because I have been reading about time and wondering about it too; how an afternoon with my children (when they’re tired) can seem like a lifetime but how … Continue reading →

It’s Always the End of World: End of Time Prophecies

I’m reading Bedlam London and Its Mad by Catherine Arnold. It tells the story of the notorious madhouse, rightly called Our Lady of Bethlehem Hospital, from the time of its foundation in the year 1247. It is a wonderful book and filled with hundreds of fascinating stories. Always on the lookout for a good lunatic, I loved … Continue reading →

“The morning star of the eccentric world”: Martin Van Butchell and Maria, Mummified in the Parlour

A few years ago, my charming husband made a particularly unsporting request about the disposal of his earthly remains; for when the time comes. (He’s not yet 40, so we can argue about it for a while yet.) His favourite place in the world is a game farm in the Lowveld over the Olifants (Elephant) River and hot, hot, … Continue reading →

Suffer the Little Children: British Concentration Camps During the 2nd Anglo-Boer War

As promised, this is not a happy story. Some of the photos in this post are disturbing. They break my heart. I hope I do not use them gratuitously. The Anglo-Boer War of 1899-1902 has a strange hold on me. Perhaps because it happened where I live. I can drive through battlefields, pull over, perhaps … Continue reading →

Victorian Cosmetics 2 – More Recipes for Unguents

I’m adding one more recipe for a Victorian unguent from the wonderful Ladies’ Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness written in 1875 by Florence Hartley. I’m not sure that this one will be a great money spinner for me in terms of my post-retrenchment recovery plan, but the stories that come with it are fascinating – … Continue reading →

Victorian Cosmetics: “Receipts for the Complexion” 1875

I am still reading The Ladies Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness, written in 1875 by Florence Hartley. The last chapter features recipes or “receipts” for home-made lotions and potions. As a newly redundant lady (work-wise; in all other areas of my life I am still singularly relevant), I really do have to think about ways … Continue reading →

Retrenchee Reads a Book of Etiquette

I was retrenched this week. It’s quite a thing to say that out aloud. I don’t like it; it sounds dirty – stench, retrench. I prefer to think of myself as a retrenchee. It sounds exciting and revolutionary. Retrenchee and Trotsky met Frida and Diego for tequila in the smokey room. Yes, better. But, alas, I am not … Continue reading →